Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Dear Blogging Community, Please forgive me for forsaking you

It occurs to me lately that I've become a once a week blogger. It wasn't intentional though, I've just had gads of stuff going on. Yes, I used the word "gads" in a sentence.

Here's a short list of reasons I haven't been around so much:

1. My hard drive a'splode -- I've got a new one on order, but my thankless computer finally collapsed under the weight of it's own porn. This kind of puts a dampner on blogging from home.

2. My social life a'splode -- I've been going out an average of 4 times per week. I'm trying to scale this back a bit as it's getting too exhausting. Stay tuned for exciting stories of drunken kareoke and mini-golf with lesbians.

3. Professional woes -- I've been really busy at work getting my stuff together for a possible promotion that just opened up. Two will enter, one will leave. Stay tuned for further updates on me finally making a decent salary (maybe).

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Musical Meme Time.... Cause I Gotta

Okay, since Steph "tagged" me, I suppose I have to go on yet another musical rant.

Number of records/tapes/CDs I own:
More than my living space conveniently allows. I recently added even more vinyll to the collection after going to a second hand bookstore and buying a pile from their 3/$1.00 bargain bin. Some that I ransacked were quite classic (Marvin Gaye, early Santana, Mellancamp), but others were not so much (Perry Cuomo, Partridge Family Christmas). The beauty of the not so much crowd is that it is funny to play at parties and such. Pride of my collection right now is an instructional "Twist" record from the 50's with some GREAT pictures on the cover of a Kasey Casem look-alike detailing how to vary up that mashed potato.

First record/tape/CD I bought:
I didn't actually buy a whole lot of music until I was a freshman in highschool really. First album I listened to though was probably "Foreigner - 4" on 8-track. That's right.... 8 track, and I used to skate around in my basement while listening to it. I was a "Jukebox Hero", how 80's is that?

Last record/tape/CD I bought:
"Let it Die" by Leslie Feist. Leslie Feist has one of the most gorgeous voices I have heard. This album is so beautiful and calming. Coincidentally, I see a restraining order from Ms. Feist in my near future.

Last record/tape/CD I listened to:
"Clap Your Hands Say Yeah", their self titled album. So far one of my favorite albums of the year.

Recordings or songs that mean a lot to me (and/or changed my life):
"Autumn Sweater" - Yo La Tengo: I love everything about Yo La Tengo. This song for me has the perfect amount of reverb, a mastery of fuzz, and throaty whispered lyrics.
"Kind of Blue" - Miles Davis: The whole entire album is just an opus of jazz excellence for me.
"Shine On Sweet Jesus" - The Flaming Lips: A jubilant yet spiritual song from a band known for mic'ing a motorcycle onstage and setting things on fire.
"Something I Learned Today" - Husker Du: This song kicks off one of the greatest punk albums of all time.
"Close to Me" - The Cure: It brings out the pasty skinned bliss in me.
"Sweet Adeline" - Elliot Smith: There is so much sadness in his work.
"The Needle and the Damage Done" - Neil Young: Neil Young is one reason I have decided to postpone my plan to pave Canada into the future parking lot of America.
"Sweet Home Chicago" - Robert Johnson: This brought about a deep love of the blues for me, whether the rumors that he sold his soul to the devil are true or not.
"Man Who Sold The World" - David Bowie: playing two notes off a single scale with a little distortion/overdrive.... who would have thought that would lead to one of the coolest intro's ever.
If I had to choose a soundtrack of my life, what 5-10 songs would be on it?:
"In My Garage" - Weezer: Everything in this song could have been written about me in high school. Now I'm a geek that just gets out more.
"Queen Bitch" - David Bowie: If you've seen "The Life Aquatic", you might understand why I might want this one in here
"The Safety Dance" - Men with Hats: Perfect for that montage scene of me fixing up my car or something
"Do You Realize" - Flaming Lips: One of the great Flaming Lips songs dealing with mortality.
"Summer Babe" - Pavement: It's almost a Beach Boy'sy song if you can get past the distortion and off-tune singing
"Debaser" - The Pixies: A song I can shout along to in my car.
"Venus" - AIR: I love me some french electronic loveliness.
"Feel The Pain" - Dinosaur Jr.: I don't really like DJr that much, but this song speaks to me.
"How to Disappear Completely" - Radiohead: As if I was going to let Thom and Co. get by without a nod.
"Learning to Fly" - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers: Once again, a nod to one of my childhood faves.
"Cold Beverages" - G. Love and Special Sauce: My official getting Krunk song.
"Broken Household Appliance National Forest"- Grandaddy: Good stuff from the Sophtware Slump

I suppose the way these things work is I'm supposed to tag people now. So Teresa, MPH, Pops: you guys are officially it. Rejcoice as that means you don't have to think hard for your next post.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Further Evidence that Women With Mental Problems Flock to Me Like A Moth to the Flame

This past weekend had some strange events that I myself don't really even know how to communicate. I will attempt to though, through a re-hashed conversation I had with my roommate about it on the following Sunday. For anonymity's sake, I've abbreviated the names to protect those most embarrassed by being associated with me.

C: So what did you end up doing Friday night?
B: Well, I drank and then got smacked around by a heavy chick on the dance floor.
C: *uncontrollable laughter* That stuff always happens to you!
B: It does indeed.
C: So what exactly led to that?
B: Well I was having some drinks with CL and D. CL's gf A had brought along her other friend A in an obvious attempt to hook me up with her friend. She wasn't particularly attractive, but she seemed nice enough. Anyhow, a Prince song came on and she dragged me out to the dance floor. So she starts doing this thing where she pulls me close and then slaps me.
C: Like hard?
B: Not really at first, of course I had been drinking since 6 so my cheeks were pretty numb anyways. I didn't even really notice the first one, but she kept it up. Eventually I had to say, "Look, this is the last time.... no more... Armageddon, Oklahoma or whatever secret code word you S&M people use".
C: *still laughing* What did she say?
B: Oh, she started apologizing profusely at that point... until she did it again almost unconsciously.
C: I would have left.
B: I had just got there and I hadn't seen some of these people for a long time. I kind of hid from her a little bit so she went after K for awhile.
C: Nice.
B: I am the master of escaping.
C: At least they were playing a Prince song and not "Smack My Bitch Up" by Prodigy.
B: For that I am thankful.