Monday, September 25, 2006

Madden Craves Bacon

I was watching football the last night, which I almost never do. It's just not my sport, and never has been. However, on this particular occasion, I was hanging out with my dad, who is the polar opposite of me in that respect. Such as that he was engrossed in football, as I was reading his newspaper, stealing coupons, and making random small talk about who works more overtime. Around that time the Patriots game came on. John Madden was doing commentary per usual, which has always been interesting to me as I think he's well on his way to mental illness. His commentaries often make about as much sense as George Foreman's recent attempts, which has caused me on more than one pay-per-view occasion to wonder if George was commenting on the current fight or was having a delusional flashback of a past ass-beating. After all, this is the man who named all of his sons "George". Really hard to forget the name of one of those fuckers. While neither is quite at Harry Caray status yet, John still has some really trippy moments. I expect a future game to go something like this:

Al Michaels: John, what do you think the Kansas City defense needs to do to win this football game?
John Madden: Taffy is delicious...
Al Michaels: Astute as always John.

Now I'm just digressing instead of telling a story that takes me about 15 seconds to tell in real life. Anyhow, John was attempting to say something about Peyton Manning, when he slipped and said "quarter-bacon" instead of "quarter-back". My dad insists he said "quarter-back'in", but his hearing isn't so good. I'm going to stick by my initial interpretation of bacon. After all, can't you just picture dreams of bacon dancing through his head during the game? It would certainly explain why he seems to be at least two plays behind sometimes. I leave you with this little MS Paint creation, as I'm bored and it seemed funny to me.

6 Comments:

Blogger Jenn said...

a) I am in awe of your MS paint skillz.
b) Shame on you for stealing coupons from your father and making fun of possibly-senile people. Wait. Maybe I meant to applaud you.

(And yes, that was a poorly worded quip that would probably work best "in real life", too.)

3:53 PM  
Blogger Teresa said...

Bacon. Must. Have. The Bacon.

11:40 PM  
Blogger STP said...

1) any coupons for kotex in there?
2) i wish i had some bacon right now
3) seriously, any coupons for the Swayer?

12:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

After all, this is the man who named all of his sons "George". Really hard to forget the name of one of those fuckers.

:)

Naming all your sons George totally reeks of lame.

You don't know me very well, but let me just warn you...I tend to drive jokes or various words & phrases I love and crack up at completely into the ground.

Reeks of lame is one of those phrases!

Bacon, however, does not reek of lame in any way, shape or form.

Except maybe when it's not cooked well enough and it's kind of rubbery.

5:38 AM  
Blogger Teresa said...

FUGGING UPDATE BEFORE I GROW ANGRIER!!!! Shoot. You would think fighting with me would be enough for a new entry in and of itself, let alone the fact that it was CHRISTMAS and NEW YEARS! Come on...football season is nearly over. I desire a new post.

10:01 PM  
Blogger STP said...

i miss you - come back! you can't see me, but i'm busting out the sad eyes and croc tears...come baaaaaaaaaack!

8:37 AM  

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