Friday, September 23, 2005

Trust me, I'm a Professional

It seems like my posts keep drifting further and further apart. The last few weeks have been busy with the professional excuse I have been working up. I can happily say that it paid off though, and I earned my promotion from lazy co-worker to disgruntled co-worker. Luckily being disgruntled pays better than being lazy, and my chances of having to move back in with my parents are slimmer still.

I'm going to take all that extra money and blow it on shoes...

Oh yeah... Daddy needs some fresh kicks

Monday, September 12, 2005

Pictionary is not for drunk people

If there's anything I've learned from going to house parties the past couple weeks, it's that board games are exponentially more amusing if you've polished of a bottle or two of wine. The one my particular crowd keeps coming back to is Pictionary.

Normally I'm a pretty decent at Pictionary, however, after drinking I have all the skills of a functionally retarded child who has gotten his hands on a huge crayon.

Below are some re-enacted drawings I created in MS Paint. They were drawn with my off-hand (I'm a lefty) to give it that jittery alcohol-saturated effect.

This is supposed to be a dog.


A Microphone.


It's either a padlock or some crude sex ed drawing.


I got pissed because I was supposed to draw an emotion. Notice how I mispelled Spartacus.

Later we separated into a girls vs. guys teams (dubbed by me the Constant Carls and Cycling Carlas) and made a pile of original challenges. Unfortunately, the Cycling Carlas had a huge miscalculation in making all their challenges for the guys sex organ-related. Guys think about sex all the time. I could draw a sideways 8 on board and the first thing shouted out would be "Baaaaalllls". We gave the girls much harder drawing challenges such as "Power Steering" and "The Hot Carl".

End score: Constant Carls 40; Cycling Carlas 2

Now on my playlist:
The New Pornographers: Twin Cinema
The Aquabats: Charge!
The Jim Yoshii Pile Up: Pick Us Apart

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

I'm not dead yet.

The rumors that Jim drove down to Wichita to give me a prison-style shivving were greatly exaggerated. I'll post again soon, I promise.

Until then, explore the Japanese "huge balls on racoons fetish".