Age Ain't Nothin' But A Number OR Exploiting the Elderly

Well, it's been a boring past week. So uneventful in fact I have to recount drinking stories from my sister's birthday. My sister is what I would call popular/beautiful and likes the exact same social scene that I work my damndest to avoid, the "clubbing scene". I tend to like hole in the wall bars with great music, cigar tolerance, and Guinness on tap. My sister likes bright flashy lights, dance floors covered in dried beer, crappy techno constisting of 2 sounds (Ooonz OOOnz), watered down drinks, and *GASP* cover charges. So we go to a club with all the above mentioned characteristics on Friday for her birthday called Flashbacks. I've been there once before and was pleasantly surprised by the lack of skanks and presence of 80's memorabilia. I want to steal half that swag, especially the pictures of Molly Ringwald (if I had more Ringwald swag, I would build a Buddhist style shrine to her in my closet) and the rubic's cube disco ball. Friday was much the same as my previous visit, except for the lack of skanks.

This particular night, I felt like I was on a episode of "Carnivale". The first oddity was the woman working the "beer tub". For those of you unfamiliar with the club standard of the "beer tub", it's basically a big washtub filled with ice and longnecks of Coors or Bud. The beer tub is traditionally manned by a girl in a bikini. Well this was the oldest beer tub-bikini girl I had ever seen. It was perhaps the only beer tub- bikini girl that had already experienced menopause. After getting a beer and sitting down at a booth, my friend Kevin remarked how her stretch marks resembled a treasure map (subsequent dialogue involved a possible plot device for a Goonies sequel). My brother had some quip comparing the whole joint to the Arby's 5 Roast Beef Sandwiches for $5.55 special. Clean conversation was pretty non-existant for most of the night. We almost didnt' notice our other friend shout "I teach their kids!" while pointing to another middle aged woman gyrating against two other guys. My guess for all this craziness: Usher/Lil' Jon songs. I think I'm done with clubs for a little while.


"Play me some Crunk music and I'll take my top off"

*edit* It appears the Arby's special is now 5 for $5.95