It's Rockstar Wednesday Suckas!
So it's Rockstar Wednesday once again. This Wednesday the hotspot will be downtown Wichita since it's Riverfestival time. The Wichita Riverfestival is a locally overhyped event where midwesterners gather to celebrate our heavily polluted river. Typically there are concerts, carnivals, and weird events to entertain bored locals and visitors. My favorite has to be the antique bathtub race. It's entertaining in the Deathrace 2000 sense. Especially when someone takes a spill into the grossosity that is the Arkansas River. Best case scenario, you'll come out mostly unscathed with minor rashing and chemical burns. Worst case scenario, previously unkown micro-organisms swim up your pee pee and they have to amputate before you mutate into a C.H.U.D.
I'm going to be prudent though, and stay far away from the river in the comfort of the food court area. There I shall hopefully dine on corndogs and overpriced beer while I listen to some blues-fusion band. After checking the schedule of events today, this was the least lame activity we could come up with. It was either that or the Rodeo/Nascar event. Fuck that.
The Rockstar Wednesday icon of the week is Flaming Lips pioneer Wayne Coyne, as he is a fellow midwesterner (Oklahoma City), and would enjoy these types of activities. Namely, eating a corndog and drinking a beer whilst telling some Darwinian example not to go in the water.
posted by Brent at 12:20 PM
8 Comments:
Curious. Why do so many forgettable mid-size American cities roll out these fake once-a-year festivals? Out here in Riverside, we celebrate the Orange Blossom Festival in the summer. It's not good for much except they did manage to book the Smithereens a couple years ago. I don't remember if they played well or not, but it's fun to think about 1991 every so often.
So the clowns are sodomizing or the clowns are BEING sodomized? It's a fine distinction but, I think, an important one. The answer will determine how close I ever allow myself to get to Indiana.
When I think of clown sodomy, which I do sometimes, I picture clown-on-clown action. You know: clowns sodomizing other clowns, and then turning around and being sodomized themselves. I would book that at my festival.
AHHH I SAW WAYNE COYNE CROWDSURF IN A GIANT HAMSTER BUBBLE.
That is all.
Oh, Larry, Larry, Larry. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I went to River Festival yesterday as well! It's murder when you have to buy a funnel cake for 8 tickets...but I did anyway. Too bad I didn't see you...
Speaking of clown sodomy...how was your rockstar wednesday??
Hey, I could've sworn I'd commented on this post--wtf? Anyway, better late than never:
I take comfort in the fact that it's called Riverfestival and not RiverFestXtreme or some such other nonsense to generate "excitement" in the populace. Don't forget your hat with the two beerholders and the crazy straws going to your mouth.
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