Friday is Another Day

The other day I had the pleasure of being tossed into an engineering crash course at work. If nothing else, it reinforced my initial predisposition that numbers are evil and that I hate math.

Today, though, is a bit more on the quiet side. The only business being discussed in the office is the outcome of this week's football pool and who is going to lose first in the scheduled poker game tonight (which everyone seems to think will be me). However, I plan on throwing off their rhythm be yelling "A Pair of Two's! No one is that lucky you cheating son of a bitch!" at random intervals. I'm not much of a poker player, so I'll be relying on my history of eratic behavior to pull me through.

Tomorrow I was invited to hang out with my sister and roommate once again. They said that they wanted to go "dancing" which more or less entails me dodging the freaks and weirdos I usually attract while they have a good time. Depending on how I feel that morning (the seasonal changes down here are causing me some grief), I might be up for that. Otherwise, I'll sit on my ass and finish watching my Arrested Development DVD's (or my newly obtained Elvis Costello DVD) while sipping tea and miso soup. That actually sounds more enjoyable right now.


If my power-v persists, I will look just like Elvis. Only less cool and talented.

The Logic Escapes Me

I never noticed it before, but some of the drive-thru ATM's in town are now equipped with braille text on the keypad. Something about this really frightens me. For one, there are no instructions in braille that tell the sight-impaired user how to navigate the menus.

Which leads me to infer two things:
1) The people that thought up the braille on the numeric keypad didn't think of how the interface would really work with a blind person.

2) The Banks are encouraging the blind to pilot vehicles through drive-through ATM stalls.

I've seen "Scent of a Woman" enough times to know that letting the blind drive cars is a really bad idea.


Do not let this fictional character drive your car

See the lonely boy, out on the weekend, trying to make it pay...

Another week has gone by and I'm happy it's gone. If nothing else, because this load of work-related crapola can be staved off until Monday. At least I'm getting paid my new and improved salary even though I haven't moved into my new position yet. Right now they have me busy training my future replacements to fill my shoes as lazy co-workers. It's rigorous training, partially involving showing them where all the dvd-rips and mp3 files are hidden on the network. I'm sure they'll make me proud.

This weekend is a particularly busy one from me. Tonight I'm supposed to meet some of my co-workers at a local bar for a few, then truck over to the other side of town to go to a meat-market club with my sister and roommate. This is typically not my scene. Bad luck has befallen meat this club, for example:
1) Being hit on by a Chinese transvestite in yellow spandex.
2) Witnessing a bar dangerously creaking from a portly woman doing her best Cowboy Oooogly impression.
3) Having a friend get a piece of glass stuck in her foot.

It's just not really my scene. Next weekend however, Drew should have the poker table he was building surfaced, so I look forward to losing my money to co-workers.


Link of the day: Rock and Roll Confidential's Hall of Douchebags
(I especially like the logo for the band "Disputed")

One Two Three.... GO!

After much procrastination and a bout of illness, I'm finally taking Jen's quiz. Now Jim can stop sending me death threats and leaving Jack-o-lanterns with butcher knives stuck in their head on my porch. Although the Jack-o-lanterns might be from the neighbors.

three names I go by:
1. Brent
2. B
3. B-Rent

three screen names you've had:
1. goodbye_blue_mondays
2. monkeyskillz
3. Turd Ferguson

three physical things you like about yourself:
1. Eyes that change color according to mood
2. jawline
3. Not much else

three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. Power -V-
2. My hobbit-like feet
3. Just about everything else

three parts of your heritage:
1. German
2. Polish
3. Bulgarian

three things that scare you:
1. Americans
2. Mediocrity
3. MPH

three of your everyday essentials:
1. well-worn jeans
2. Coffee and/or herbal tea
3. My new acoustic guitar

three things you are wearing right now:
1. T-shirt that says "Guns don't kill people... people with mustaches do"
2. A khaki blazer
3. A really hideous lanyord/badge thing so I can get past security at work

three of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment):
1. Yo La Tengo
2. Steven Malkmus
3. The Jim Yoshii Pile-up

three of your favorite songs (at the moment):
1. Decatur, Or, Round Of Applause For Your Stepmother! - Sufjan Stevens
2. Won't U Please Be Nice? - Nelly Mckay
3. Somebody I used to know - Elliott Smith

three things you want in a relationship:
1. Humor
2. Mutual respect
3. Bow Chica Wow Wow

two truths and a lie (in no particular order):
1. There is a dead hooker in my basement
2. There is a Cobra Commander action figure on my desk.
3. I've been asked to leave a bar for inciting a chant of "This band sucks balls".

three physical things about the [non-]opposite sex that appeal to you:
1. a nice voice
2. pretty smile
3. a healthy lifestyle

three of your favorite hobbies:
1. music: discovering new music, rummaging through old LP's and 45's, attempting to play guitar
2. reading
3. pretending I'm sophisticated

three things you want to do really badly right now:
1. pull Conan O'Brian's "Walker Texas Ranger" lever
2. steal office supplies
3. send anonymous obscene e-mails to my boss's Blackberry as he's in Jamaica and I'm not.

three careers you're considering:
1. I already have a career.
2. If I had to rethink my career, I would probably say "Humanitarian"...
3. Or "balloon animal artist"

three places you want to go on vacation:
1. Venice
2. Tokyo
3. Vancouver

three kids' names you like:
1. Alden
2. Clarissa
3. Don Rickles

three things you want to do before you die:
1. write the great American novel
2. form a crappy bar cover band
3. world domination

Three people that i'd like to take this quiz:
1. Tereeeeeesa
2. Steph
3. Swayer

(Notice the ommission of Pops and MPH as they are too cool for memes)