"Dance Like No One Is Watching" OR "Lance Armstrong and His Cycling Buddies Can Eat My Ass"
I'm too lazy and/or ADD ridden to decide on 1 title and topic today, so enjoy this bit of randomness.
Saturday, I went to my usual spot to listen to 80's music, drink, dance, and sing in no particular order. What made this weekend a little different from my normal outing was the addition of an Elvis impersonator to the mix. Some people at the club were throwing a 50th birthday party for one of their friends and had hired him as entertainment. He sang a few songs with the house band, and wasn't too shabby. After his set, we snuck our way onto one of the tables in the private party and hung out for a bit, and got his business card. I didn't realize that the Wichita market had an Elvis impersonator. From the wording of his card, he had competition in this market. He claimed to be the finest impersonator in the state. I would think if he was the only impersonator, he would have that information on the card. I wonder if there is a hidden Elvis impersonating subculture in Kansas that I'm blissfully unaware of. Perhaps they have meetings at the American Legion to discuss issues plaguing impersonators in this state, whatever they may be. I can imagine the Elvis-impersonating lobby would be a lot stronger in other states like Nevada, but not here.
In other news, the weather is getting warmer here, which means two things. Firstly, my allergies are going ballistic and I'm quite miserable. Secondly, there is an army of cyclists that have come out of hibernation to terrorize my neighborhood. Packs of 20 or so cyclists all in tight shorts, conical helmets, and "Live Strong" yellow rubber bands, hoard the city streets whilst making me late to work. Several things about this bother me.
Saturday, I went to my usual spot to listen to 80's music, drink, dance, and sing in no particular order. What made this weekend a little different from my normal outing was the addition of an Elvis impersonator to the mix. Some people at the club were throwing a 50th birthday party for one of their friends and had hired him as entertainment. He sang a few songs with the house band, and wasn't too shabby. After his set, we snuck our way onto one of the tables in the private party and hung out for a bit, and got his business card. I didn't realize that the Wichita market had an Elvis impersonator. From the wording of his card, he had competition in this market. He claimed to be the finest impersonator in the state. I would think if he was the only impersonator, he would have that information on the card. I wonder if there is a hidden Elvis impersonating subculture in Kansas that I'm blissfully unaware of. Perhaps they have meetings at the American Legion to discuss issues plaguing impersonators in this state, whatever they may be. I can imagine the Elvis-impersonating lobby would be a lot stronger in other states like Nevada, but not here.
In other news, the weather is getting warmer here, which means two things. Firstly, my allergies are going ballistic and I'm quite miserable. Secondly, there is an army of cyclists that have come out of hibernation to terrorize my neighborhood. Packs of 20 or so cyclists all in tight shorts, conical helmets, and "Live Strong" yellow rubber bands, hoard the city streets whilst making me late to work. Several things about this bother me.
- Someone is able to ride bikes instead of working Mondays like the rest of the rest of us.
- Traffic laws apparantly do not apply to cyclists.
- A bicycle is slower than a car. 20 bicycles is slower than molasses.
posted by Brent at 12:08 PM
7 Comments:
I have a couple of spines in the garage actually...
The real reason I'm posting though is to suggest a national 'punch someone with a live strong bracelet in the face day.'
i really hate how those things are becoming a pop culture phenomenon. i see people wearing like 3 or 4 different colors on both of their fat wrists and my punch reflex starts kicking in.
I especially love the ones that cycle on Webb and Rock Road. They must have a death wish or something. I can hardly stomach driving in my car on those roads, let alone on a bike...
In Cali it's less cyclists and more CPAs/corporate lawyers dressed up in shiny designer leathers tooling around in giant nerd packs on their fancy weekend Harleys. The roam from Starbucks to Starbucks at low rates of speed wishing people "good morning!" and holding doors open for old ladies. Savages, all of them.
CYCLISTS. AAHH. I will BUY you a snowplow to do just that. The only catch is that you have to come to California and run them off the road like that... only, we don't have snow. This could be a problem.
You, sir, amuse me.
Yeah, what's up with the lycra outfits? If you can play baseball in t-shirt and jeans, why do you have dress up in a goofy, day-glow, stretchy, skin-tight costume to ride a bike?
I'm not really hip on these bracelets of which you speak. I'm guessing it has something to do with Lance (CHEATER) Armstrong and his testicle cancer. Here in the South, we just wear bracelets that say, "Deep fry it, bitch!"
Hey SJ, where can I get one of your bracelets?
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