My Urine Lacquered Workplace

It was a fairly productive day at work today, however, one wouldn't think so by looking at my e-mail chain between me and my brother (visit the Krull Krusher blog on the sidebar and tell him to fucking update). It could possibly be the least mature conversation I've ever had with my brother while at work. Here's the e-mail from plant facilities that kicked it off:
*************************************************************************************
Subject: An uncomfortable situation


Our housekeeping people are having some problems with us when they are servicing the restrooms. Please consider the restrooms totally out of service while they are being serviced and cleaned by housekeeping and go on to another restroom. Allow housekeeping freedom from pressure and embarrassment while they are servicing the restrooms so they can do their work thoroughly and without interruption. We have had people complain about the wet slippery floors and that was while housekeeping was in the process of cleaning the floor. If you are in the middle of mopping the floor it is probably wet. Housekeeping has even had men come in and use the urinals while they are cleaning in the restrooms. Please do not do that. That is just too rude and crude to be acceptable in our society.

Please pass this on to others at your crew meetings who may not have access to e-mail and solicit their help and cooperation.

Jimmy Jimmerson
Manager, Facilities
*************************************************************************************
This spawned a series of smart ass comments.

Adam: Was this you???
Brent: No it wasn't me. They peed in the urinal. I peed in the dirty mop water. Big Difference.
Adam: It's all the same to me. Someone's bathroom floor must have smelled like pure pee pee after that!
Brent: I did it to teach them a lesson….
Adam: I guess it had to be done.
Brent: Don't tell them it was me
Adam: Oh I'm gonna!
Brent: I will hunt you down and choke you. Well I guess it won't be too hard to hunt you down, as you live right below me. How's about I rephrase that to, "I will chase you down and choke you".
Adam: You cannot break me. I have the power of HEART!
Brent: Heart is the gayest power ever. All it does is charm the monkeys
Adam: You underestimate that power of HEART my older brother!
Brent: Yeah, well you still need the cool powers in order to form the greatest mulleted super hero ever, CAPTAIN PLANET!
Adam: What, like WIND or EARTH? F*** that!
Brent: Yeah, if captain planet was here right now, he'd mule kick you because he'd think you were pollution or something….