Further Evidence that Women With Mental Problems Flock to Me Like A Moth to the Flame
This past weekend had some strange events that I myself don't really even know how to communicate. I will attempt to though, through a re-hashed conversation I had with my roommate about it on the following Sunday. For anonymity's sake, I've abbreviated the names to protect those most embarrassed by being associated with me.
C: So what did you end up doing Friday night?
B: Well, I drank and then got smacked around by a heavy chick on the dance floor.
C: *uncontrollable laughter* That stuff always happens to you!
B: It does indeed.
C: So what exactly led to that?
B: Well I was having some drinks with CL and D. CL's gf A had brought along her other friend A in an obvious attempt to hook me up with her friend. She wasn't particularly attractive, but she seemed nice enough. Anyhow, a Prince song came on and she dragged me out to the dance floor. So she starts doing this thing where she pulls me close and then slaps me.
C: Like hard?
B: Not really at first, of course I had been drinking since 6 so my cheeks were pretty numb anyways. I didn't even really notice the first one, but she kept it up. Eventually I had to say, "Look, this is the last time.... no more... Armageddon, Oklahoma or whatever secret code word you S&M people use".
C: *still laughing* What did she say?
B: Oh, she started apologizing profusely at that point... until she did it again almost unconsciously.
C: I would have left.
B: I had just got there and I hadn't seen some of these people for a long time. I kind of hid from her a little bit so she went after K for awhile.
C: Nice.
B: I am the master of escaping.
C: At least they were playing a Prince song and not "Smack My Bitch Up" by Prodigy.
B: For that I am thankful.
C: So what did you end up doing Friday night?
B: Well, I drank and then got smacked around by a heavy chick on the dance floor.
C: *uncontrollable laughter* That stuff always happens to you!
B: It does indeed.
C: So what exactly led to that?
B: Well I was having some drinks with CL and D. CL's gf A had brought along her other friend A in an obvious attempt to hook me up with her friend. She wasn't particularly attractive, but she seemed nice enough. Anyhow, a Prince song came on and she dragged me out to the dance floor. So she starts doing this thing where she pulls me close and then slaps me.
C: Like hard?
B: Not really at first, of course I had been drinking since 6 so my cheeks were pretty numb anyways. I didn't even really notice the first one, but she kept it up. Eventually I had to say, "Look, this is the last time.... no more... Armageddon, Oklahoma or whatever secret code word you S&M people use".
C: *still laughing* What did she say?
B: Oh, she started apologizing profusely at that point... until she did it again almost unconsciously.
C: I would have left.
B: I had just got there and I hadn't seen some of these people for a long time. I kind of hid from her a little bit so she went after K for awhile.
C: Nice.
B: I am the master of escaping.
C: At least they were playing a Prince song and not "Smack My Bitch Up" by Prodigy.
B: For that I am thankful.
posted by Brent at 1:13 PM
6 Comments:
First: not knowing the safe word is YOUR responsibility, not hers.
Second: I can tell from your picture that you have an eminently smackable face. I mean that in a nice way.
Third: the obvious answer to the "women with mental problems" problem is to switch teams and become gay. I'm not saying there aren't any crazy dudes out there, but judging from all the self-help books I read, the biggest problem you'll face in a relationship with a guy is that he'll just want to fuck all the time. In which case, score for you again.
I thought all women were crazy.
Oh dear, I feel sorry for your cheeks. I assume you were talking about your facial cheeks and not the...other cheeks? Cuz if you're gonna get slapped, the nether cheeks are the way to go. I mean, not that I would ever condone or have any experience in that matter. Really.
You are such a sweet, hot, hilarious guy. One day some crazy chick's best friend will be there and she won't be crazy and you'll end up with her instead of the nutter. Trust me on this...
now that is dialogue.
funny stuff man
What Prince song was it? Just curious. I have a soft spot for "Darling Niki." And Pops is right about your face being "smackable." Cute boys are fun to slap.
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