More Sharks = More Drama
Several other people (MPH/Insane Preschool Mom) have beaten me to the punch as far as posting about the revolutionary new made for TV movie, Spring Break Shark Attack. The movie looked fairly interesting as crap movies go, but my brother and I have found a much more interesting scenario. Instead of a crappy fictional tale of paid-actors posing as spring breakers, I say let's turn it into a reality game show. Real college students, real sharks. Whoever survives in the shark tank the longest gets a Saturn Ion (hey, it worked for Real World Vs. Road Rules). There has to be at least some semblence of danger, because face it, safe kids = bad television.
In other news, I got krunk this weekend and danced my legs off to classic motown jams at the 80's bar. Then I woke up the next morning and fed my hangover with pancakes at the Cracker Barrel. Good times. Cracker Barrel coincidentally is down the streeet from BTK's house. One of the people who passed out on our couch from the night before, wanted to see BTK's house. Just to mess with her, we drove down a random street and pointed to a random yellow house. It's fun to mess with with her.
Before my ADD kicks into overdrive, here are the answers to the quiz from last time.
"OK, it turns out we don't have very much geek running through our collective veins... which is strangely both sad and comforting at the same time. Since nobody actually got all of the answers correct, I will choose a winner using a sophisticated highly-confidential algorithm and present the semi-decent prize to the winner.
Captain Kirk v. Gorn
Kirk, duh. And with rocks and a piece of bamboo, no less! He's like Macguyver... only he didn't even need duct tape to off the giant green lizard creature.
Anakin Skywalker v. Obi-wan Kenobi
Something of a trick question... but since I referred to him as "Anakin," the reference was for the upcoming movie (our only real reference point looking back to the first movie is to call him "Darth"... oops... did I just spoil the obvious?). Obi-Wan by KO in the 12th round.
Spock v. Horta
This question allowed for 2 possible answers. While technically a tie, since a negotiation was worked out between the humans and the silicon-based rock eating creature (reference "no kill i"). However, it would be no stretch to consider this a solid victory for the logical superiority of Spock since it was his tactically superior decision to use the Vulcan Mind Meld that led to the truce. Victory goes to Spock.
Chewbaka v. Spangles Deluxe Combo
I was castigated for my (mis)spelling of the name 'Chewbacca.' For this, I must apologize. I had originally spelled it correctly, but did a Google to make certain... and Google's "fuzzy logic" offered me the alternate spelling as a "correction." With regard to the battle, while Chewie is quite an imposing figure, and could easily tear through just about anything put before him, his species prefer fowl over beef, and so would almost certainly go for the Turkey Club or Buffalo Ranch Chicken on pita. Winner-- Spangles Deluxe Combo.
Captain Kirk v. Luke Skywalker
If you have to think about this one, you've already lost the quiz. Somebody emailed me asking whether we were talking about the ST:TOS Kirk or the movie Kirk. On the surface, this might seem like a reasonable question... but it really just reveals that the questioner is a neophyte in the world of Sci-Fi. The only Kirk you might have to be worried about is the ST:G one. This is the movie where he (seemingly) falls to his death in a battle with the devious Soran. But think about it... he'd been living in a dream world for who knows how long, he didn't have a good breakfast that day (eggs were burned), and he was forced to fight along side the wimpy (though strategically capable) Pickard-- in a fight, that's worse than being by yourself. So you can see how he might not have his best day.
All of the above is factual information and can be scientifically proven. Any ideas to the contrary are simply wrong. ;-) "
--Kenneth, Krull's boss
In other news, I got krunk this weekend and danced my legs off to classic motown jams at the 80's bar. Then I woke up the next morning and fed my hangover with pancakes at the Cracker Barrel. Good times. Cracker Barrel coincidentally is down the streeet from BTK's house. One of the people who passed out on our couch from the night before, wanted to see BTK's house. Just to mess with her, we drove down a random street and pointed to a random yellow house. It's fun to mess with with her.
Before my ADD kicks into overdrive, here are the answers to the quiz from last time.
"OK, it turns out we don't have very much geek running through our collective veins... which is strangely both sad and comforting at the same time. Since nobody actually got all of the answers correct, I will choose a winner using a sophisticated highly-confidential algorithm and present the semi-decent prize to the winner.
Captain Kirk v. Gorn
Kirk, duh. And with rocks and a piece of bamboo, no less! He's like Macguyver... only he didn't even need duct tape to off the giant green lizard creature.
Anakin Skywalker v. Obi-wan Kenobi
Something of a trick question... but since I referred to him as "Anakin," the reference was for the upcoming movie (our only real reference point looking back to the first movie is to call him "Darth"... oops... did I just spoil the obvious?). Obi-Wan by KO in the 12th round.
Spock v. Horta
This question allowed for 2 possible answers. While technically a tie, since a negotiation was worked out between the humans and the silicon-based rock eating creature (reference "no kill i"). However, it would be no stretch to consider this a solid victory for the logical superiority of Spock since it was his tactically superior decision to use the Vulcan Mind Meld that led to the truce. Victory goes to Spock.
Chewbaka v. Spangles Deluxe Combo
I was castigated for my (mis)spelling of the name 'Chewbacca.' For this, I must apologize. I had originally spelled it correctly, but did a Google to make certain... and Google's "fuzzy logic" offered me the alternate spelling as a "correction." With regard to the battle, while Chewie is quite an imposing figure, and could easily tear through just about anything put before him, his species prefer fowl over beef, and so would almost certainly go for the Turkey Club or Buffalo Ranch Chicken on pita. Winner-- Spangles Deluxe Combo.
Captain Kirk v. Luke Skywalker
If you have to think about this one, you've already lost the quiz. Somebody emailed me asking whether we were talking about the ST:TOS Kirk or the movie Kirk. On the surface, this might seem like a reasonable question... but it really just reveals that the questioner is a neophyte in the world of Sci-Fi. The only Kirk you might have to be worried about is the ST:G one. This is the movie where he (seemingly) falls to his death in a battle with the devious Soran. But think about it... he'd been living in a dream world for who knows how long, he didn't have a good breakfast that day (eggs were burned), and he was forced to fight along side the wimpy (though strategically capable) Pickard-- in a fight, that's worse than being by yourself. So you can see how he might not have his best day.
All of the above is factual information and can be scientifically proven. Any ideas to the contrary are simply wrong. ;-) "
--Kenneth, Krull's boss
posted by Brent at 3:35 PM
10 Comments:
Dude, that quiz sucked. Not bitter or anything, just sayin'
OK, maybe a little bit bitter--wtf is s Spangles Deluxe Combo anyway?
Like Steph, I too am going to have to plead Californian on that Spangles whatever you said thing.
Also, I thought Cracker Barrel was some kind of store. Now apparently it also serves pancakes.
Then I started wondering if I was getting it confused with Waffle House, which we also don't have in Cali. And then my nose started to bleed and I wandered off to have a lie-down.
Steph/Pops: Spangles is a greasy local fast good chain. The deluxe combo is a huge ass cheeseburger and fries. Ironically, the owner of Spangles also owns the largest chain of gyms in town. And the whole point of the quiz was that it sucks. My brother sends me stuff like that all the time from his boss.
MPH: That sounds reasonable
Pops,
Incidentally, Cracker Barrel is an old timey good store and a restraunt. Blows my mind too.
People who don't know what Cracker Barrel is are the reasons we still have a civilized society. That being said, we here in my house try to go there at least once a month and look at all the really fat Southern people eat lots of gravy. (while we eat lots of gravy, too)
And bacon.
Everyone's a winner here....
Wah, that just means nobody's a winner. Except Brent, that is, who reeled in us poor saps with promises of fabulous prizes...
Woah.. hold on a second here.
Are you telling me there aren't any prizes?
Ok.. now I'm pissed!
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