What's the story Morning Glory?

I'm actually having a much more colorful weekend than I had originally planned on, which is kind of a pleasant surprise.

Friday night was designated as hang out with the co-workers night. More or less, my entire department showed up to shoot some pool and drink a few pitchers at some new sports bar by my workplace. I kind of like the idea of kicking back with the co-workers. If one of them decides to go on a murderous rampage do to all the work stress lately, they might spare someone that they go drinking with on a regular basis. Or so I hope.

If there was a downside to last night, it's that the co-workers got to witness one of the unfortunate side-effects of me drinking with them: the sing-alongs to 80's songs. After a few sing-alongs, some of the "ladies" (I'm using that term lightly), that one of my co-workers brought along started going off on the music choice of the barkeep (mostly complaining about the fact that they were playing quite a bit off of U2- The Joshua Tree). So, they went up to the bar and hammered on the bartender until he played some "ghetto music". So they got him to put on some Ying Yang Twins. Moment of clarity: for every Biggie and Tupac that were taken from us too soon, there are five Little Jon's with accompanying entourages.

When I was actually playing pool, I managed to clean most of the table on Chang (my streetracing coworker: too fast, too furious), all while exclaiming "I'm a hustla baaaa~by" in my most demeaning tone. I then proceeded to scratch on the 8-ball. I think this is somehow a metaphor for my life.

Tomorrow, I was invited to go play cricket with some South-African folks I used to work with. I don't even know the rules for the game, but saw part of the championship televised on the ocho. I figure it will be a nice opportunity to get some fresh air and culture myself a bit. That, and the fact that they always seem to bring a lovely assortment of food and wine whenever we do something.

In other news, I won an auction on e-bay today for another guitar. This one while used, has some excellent modifications on it, and I think will have a lot of character. It's a archtop-double cutaway (kind of a Les-Paul style) Hamer with some Tom Anderson coil-tapped Humbuckers and Sperzal tuners added to it. I'm quite looking forward to getting it. I'm even thinking of giving my guitar a name in the BB King tradition. You can check out a pic of it here.

I'm out like Seacrest.

Not a Very Exciting Rockstar Wednesday

Well, it's been a bland Rockstar Wednesday so far, so you get this picture of a bland wannabe "rock star".

Not very much interesting has happened today, although I did troll through my old saved jpeg collection and found a picture of this guy.



What weirds me out most about this image is not his tired anti-gay message, but the fact that he appears to be holding a wide-band SCSII cable (the same kind my company uses in our storage arrays). I suppose the cable is supposed to intimidate homosexuals into "finding jesus", but I'm really not sure how. The only thing I get from looking at this pic is the urge to go back into my storage cabinet, pull out one of those cables, and shake it menacingly at my cube-neighbor.

Hope the rest of you are celebrating rockstar wednesday in a more appropriate fashion than me. It appears I will be taking this Wednesday off to go have coffee with a friend instead of tearing up the town.

I just want to dance!

Discuss...

The Brent tries to piss MPH off by mentioning Affleck and Garner post

New York Post Online Edition:

Looks like Ben Affleck proposed to Jennifer Garner. Whoopedie doo!


Aren't they the cutest little couple


Oh, don't forget to visit the blog lovingly referred to as "Heightened Thoughts" to rub it in.

Just Another Rock Star Wednesday

Well, once again it is time for my new semi-regular mid-week romp, Rockstar Wednesday. I don't know where my destination will be on this fine Wednesday, but getting there is half the fun. Not sure if you want to participate in a Rock Star Wednesday of your own? Well just check out these testimonials:

• "If I didn't participate in Rock Star Wednesday, I'd be sitting at home and watching 'Lost' like the loser I am" -- Matthew "Gootch" Goolsby
  
• "We should do this every Wednesday" -- Kandi, Rockstar Wednesday co-founder
  
• "Why didn't I think of this!?!?" Pete Townshend of the Who
• "I'm glad other people are participating in this stepping stone to alcoholism" -James of CTRL-ALT-DESTROY fame
• "Fuck, Shit, Retard!" - MPH

Oh, and if you can guess this week's Rockstar, you might be up for the Nissan Sentra that MPH has yet to give away.

Extremites and such

WSOCTV.com - Irresistible Headlines - Christian T-Shirts Carry Extreme Messages

Christ in a dumptruck. When I saw this link on Fark.com, somehow I knew my lovely state would be involved in this. You see, in our state we have more Exxxxtttttttrreeeeme Christians that other red states, or at least that's my theory. Need some examples?

1. Fred "God Hates Gays" Phelps
2. Six Flags Over Jesus - It seems local churches here are all trying to one-up each other on who can build the largest solid gold cross. Already, most of these can be seen from outer space.
3. Senator Sam Brownback (see linked article for a multitude of reasons)
4. Anti-evolutionaries are right in my backyard

I'm usually not one to banter on about religion, because I think it should be a personal matter as opposed to the public spectacle it becomes. However, this religious right horse and pony show has amassed one gigantic pile of dung in the past few years. What would Blog-Jesus do?

Not to be outdone by Steph....

Here's my quiz results from the dialect quiz.

Your Linguistic Profile:

50% General American English

35% Yankee

10% Dixie

5% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

I'm only about 15% redneck. That's more than a little progressive for my state.

So You Want to Party Like a Rockstar?

According to my friend Kandra, Rockstars always party during the middle of the week in order to avoid crowds, ect. So now we have recently formed the tradition of Rockstar Wednesdays. So you wanna be a superstar? Then come out with us on Wednesdays.

My Endless Numbered Days

It's 11:58 on a Sunday night...

And I still owe MPH a few freebie promotions, so
visit Heightened Thoughts or I'll kill your dog.

Some of you faithful bloggers have wondered why I haven't been posting constantly lately and/or been stalking your blogs as I would have liked to. The reason as some of you may have guessed, is that real life has kicked me in the nards. I was down for the count, but the throbbing has ceased and my breathing has returned to normal. Credit for the above analogy goes to a cheap bottle of wine (austrailian pesticide.. yummy) that is perusing my bloodstream thanks to another round of the "Deadwood drinking game". Speaking of which, tonight's episode had lots of "interesting" plot twists. Ask Pops about Bullock's horse for more details.

The largest reason I haven't been posting so much, is my employer thinks that I am a beast of burden, one in the process of being driven to death in order to cross the desert of lost profits.

The other is social obligations now that my chiro-friend is settled in. I went to have drinks with him, his gf, his sister, and some of her friends/co-workers last night. Being the new one in that social circle, I pretty much got to sit back and drink beer while watching my friend be obnoxiously cute and affectionate with his gf. If I had to make up an adjective for the situation, it would be vomitous. He seems determined to hook me up with someone this upcoming summer, but I kind of wonder about his taste sometimes. I think he would hook me up with Sandy from Grease, pre-makeover, when I would probably be more suited to Sandy from Grease post-black leather makeover. The main reason for this being, that when I'm stuck around "goody goodies" I tend to reflect on my own faults and imperfections as a citizen of this fine state. In some social circles, believe it or not, being a sardonic dirty-minded foul-mouthed culture-geek is not an asset. All in all though, the weekend was a bust. Thankfully one of my favorite local cover bands is playing next weekend, and my usual crew will be available to watch me sing along to a happening cover of "Brass Monkey". You know you are jealous.

Oh, and if you can guess which album my post-title is a play of, MPH said he'd buy you a Nissan Sentra.


Olivia Newton John is hotttchachacha~

We can play a Stones song, sitting on a fence.....

.....And it'll sound pretty good, til I forget how it ends

My chiroprachter buddy moved back into town last week in order to start up his practice here. Last night he stopped by to sit on my porch and drink beer with me, just like in our college days, and our pre-college days. Come to think of it, most of our post college days are spent like that as well. Anyways it was nice to be able to confide in a friend again, instead of being the constant confidant and/or Wingman. I got the whole "things are going to look up for you" speech, which I would like to believe. In any case, it's nice to be reassured sometimes.

I also find myself watching an abundance of movies lately that involve an "everyman" type character. I watch "Ghostworld" for the umpteenth time last night (which in a way freaks me out, as my ex has always looked clost to identical to Scarlett Johansen in that movie). I really dig Steve Buscemi in that flick. Today I bought "Sideways" and just finished watching it again about an hour ago. I enjoyed that flick ironically, with a glass of cheap boozer wine from Australia. If I were ever to design a wine bottle, it would look like a brown paper sack.

Oh, and everyone needs to visit the blog a few people lovingly refer to as "Heightened Thoughts". Not because I angered the "Blog Jesus" and am punished to refer to "Heightened Thoughts" all week, but because it will make a stark difference in your life.

Stay tuned tomorrow, when I shamelessly promote a certain persons blog(s) and talk about his Daniel Baldwin fetish. It will be hottttttttttttttttttttttttq (extra t's and silent q for added emphasis).

Morning has come, and she is calling me to sleep

I need to stop consuming so much caffiene in one day. It kept me up all night last night. When I finally did manage to fall asleep early this morning, I ended up having bizarre dreams again (much like the weird Top-Gun dream of last week). This time I was some type of Real Estate agent, and for some reason I couldn't find a house with a big enough doorway for Shaq to walk through.
Ironically enough, as soon as I make it to work I am filling up my coffee mug to the brim. I'm dragging ass and need that extra little boost. Caffiene is a harsh mistress...

In other weekend happenings, I've been put in awkward wingman situations all this weekend. Stuff like that makes me want to retire my "best wingman in Kansas" moniker. For once I would just like to go out for a beer without having to make special allowances for friends.

Vengeance is mine!!

I've never been much of one for April Fools day. Spite and malice have never been appealing as a celebratory holiday for me. That is until today. When I got to work today, my coworkers had emptied god knows how many packets of salt all over my desk. Since my desk is a nice white color anyways, I didn't even notice until I got my forearms coated like a big hairy McDonald's french fry. I suppose I should feel somewhat lucky. My co-worker AVT had everything in his cube turned upside down. I still don't know how they got his flat panel monitor to balance inverted like that. My brother had a screenshot of his desktop taken and set as his wallpaper, after they had removed all toolbars and icons from his desktop. He said he kept trying to pull up the start menu while everyone laughed at him. My prank against my co-workers was a simple yet effective one. Since we are taking Help Desk calls now, we are also processing contractor termination requests (cleaning up email accounts, NT logons, ect). I happened to make myself a nice little gmail account under the HR lady's name. Then I copied the template and email signature she used and sent in a nice termination request with everyone in my department's name on it. The look when they went to process their own termination is priceless.

In other news, last night I didn't have to pay my full bar tab once again. Only 2 of my 5 Guiness/Black & Tan's made it on the bill. Craig and his gf both swear it's because the waitress had a thing for me. I call bullshit and say it was just gross negligence on her part. History will be the judge.

I won an oil painting on e-bay today. Quite bitchin'! I'm turning into an e-bay addict.